Gallery
This Body
*reposted with permission from our Instructor Lira’s web site The Sensual University
This body is old. This body is ugly. This body is slow, weak, cumbersome. It gets in my way and pisses me off. It trips me when I’m tired and gets sticky when I sweat. It has rolls and wrinkles, and cellulite dimples. It has jiggly thighs and arms that aren’t half as strong as I want them to be.
I sit immobile at a desk all day and complain when my body gets sore. I work out and dance and stretch and move and push it to the limits. I punish it because I want my body to know how wrong, how bad, how unruly it is.
And it forgives me. 
My Body Forgives Me
My body accepts my complaints, my fears, my worries, my aches, my pains, my childish demanding nature that wants it to conform to the tiny girls in the magazines that are 15 years younger than me and photoshopped within an inch of their life.
My body gives me permission. To try something new. To emulate a pretzel on a flat yoga mat. To twirl and spin on shiny poles. To dance until I can barely breath. To smile and laugh until my mouth aches and my lungs burn. To run until my sweat turns pure. To cry until my face swells and my throat dries up, and I simply can’t scream anymore.
My Body Gives Me Space
Space to withdraw into myself when I’ve said too much, gone too far, felt too judged. Space to watch the clouds drift across the sky. Space to feel the sun heat my back and the wind caress my belly. Space to be whoever I want to be, whenever I want to be, with no expectations. Space to be held and loved. Space to share myself with the world or just one person. Space to choose.
My body is the one who listens when I rant and rave over something that I won’t remember a week from now. It’s the one who knows all my deepest fears and doesn’t belittle me for them. Who hears me and understands perfectly, even when I’m still figuring out what the hell I’m trying to say.
My body holds my memories, of the past that I’m not ready to let go of. And the future I’m not ready to posses. It holds my dreams, my wishes, and my hopes with hands so gentle I sometimes think I’m floating. It’s the one who holds me until the sobbing stops even if it takes hours.
My body is the one that remembers to breath. Inhaling deeply from the pool of living air that surrounds me. Exhaling and releasing what I no longer need. The loving breath, the angry breath, the shallow breath, the purging breath, the cleansing breath, the everyday breath. My body is the one who takes a deep breath with me, right before I take the plunge that could change my life forever.
My Body Loves Me
And loves me. And loves me some more. Everyday, every moment. Every shout, every tear, every laugh. My body proves it’s love by showing up day after day, morning after morning. I close my eyes in the dark of the night and my body loves me enough to keep me alive until I’m ready to open them again.
It asks for almost nothing in return. Food to feed me. Shelter to protect me. Water to sustain me. And for this it showers me with pleasure, sensation, titillation, emotion, intelligence, understanding, comprehension, nothing less than the ability to experience life over every inch of my skin. My body fills me with boundless energy and lets me ride that fluid wave over and over again.
My body is dedicated to being with me, loving me, living only for me, until I take my last breath.
And I’m Not Going To Punish It Anymore
I’m going to practice loving this body. Moving with love. Breathing with love. Being in love.
I’m going to practice acceptance.
I’m going to practice experiencing this body without judgement while it laughs and cries. While it learns to fly and sometimes falls down.
I’m going to practice giving this body permission to be whoever she is. With compassion on most days and trust on the rest.
Because finally after all these years, I think I’m falling in love with her.
Take A look At Your Sole
***by our Instructor Niki!
I’ve been going to a chiropractor for a few weeks now and have discovered some completely new information about my body and how I hold it in space.
Today, during my chiropractic appointment, my doctor tells me that my right foot tends to pronate, or hold my weight more on one edge rather than an even distribution across the 3 major points of the foot [namely, the mound of the big toe, mound of the pinkie toe and center of the heel - creates a triangle] I have the unhealthy habit of wearing [cute] ballet flats which have no way of supporting or enhancing my standing and walking habits. He could tell by the wear on the sole of my shoe that I was a pronator! As I did some research online, I found that I actually “underpronate,” which causes stress on the lower leg…maybe the reason I used to get shin splints?… I don’t know 
So in yoga, [think Mountain pose] it is essential to bring the physical body to neutral, and do our best to bring our mental focus to neutral. When we do this, we communicate to the nervous system that we are safe and can begin to restore and repair on both planes. From this place of neutrality, we can then begin to condition specific aspects of the mind-body that we know [through self-study] are our challenge.
Take a look at the link above for some interesting self-study. I’m not really promoting self-diagnosis here, but maybe the information will lead you to discover a small detail worth considering next time you step on your mat, or buy a pair of shoes.
Re Posted from YogaWithNiki’s blog
Good Food – Pumpkin Sweet Potato Spicy Love…
It’s winter and that means soup! Which is great because I love soup…I mean it’s good food right? Here is my favorite version of the classic “Pumpkin Soup”.
ENJOY!
Serves 6
INGREDIENTS
1 tablespoon butter
1 cup onion, chopped
3 tablespoons whole wheat flour
1/2 teaspoon curry powder
1/4 teaspoon cumin
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
2 garlic cloves, crushed
1 cup peeled and cubed sweet potato
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 (14 oz.) cans of low sodium chicken broth
1 (15 oz.) can of pumpkin
1 cup 1% milk
1 tablespoon fresh lime juice
DIRECTIONS
1. Melt butter in large saucepan over medium-high heat. Sauté onion for 3-4 minutes then add flour, curry, garlic, cumin and nutmeg and sauté for 1 minute.
2. Add sweet potato, salt, chicken broth and pumpkin and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to medium-low and simmer, partially covered for about 20-25 minutes or until sweet potatoes are cooked through and softened. Remove from heat and let stand for 10 minutes to cool.
3. Place half of the pumpkin mixture in a blender and process until smooth. Using a strainer, pour soup back into pan. Repeat with rest of soup.
4. Raise heat to medium then stir in milk and cook for 5 minutes or until soup is heated through.
5. Remove from heat and add lime juice.
NUTRITION INFO
Calories: 160.3
Fat: 4.3 g
Carbohydrates: 21.6 g
Protein: 10.3 g
The Breath – First & Foremost
I had a conversation recently with a fellow yoga teacher about the breath. I was explaining to her how insightful it is to work with someone one on one, and specifically, how interesting it is to see breath awareness evolve. (It’s sometimes so much easier to understand this unfolding from the outside in, and to this end I am incredibly grateful to have the chance to work one on one with someone in this way.)
To give you more of an idea of what I’m talking about, a client of mine is learning a very common breathing technique that helps to relax the nervous system and slow down the heart rate as a way to ease the body into a more relaxed state. It’s a breath I learned a few years ago and have been practicing regularly ever since, it’s a breath I don’t think about anymore during my posture practice, it just happens as I need it to. Sometimes when I am working with her, she is reporting to me that she feels very relaxed, very calm and happy during practice; and her breathing patterns and the way her face is held and the way her belly moves while she is in the postures, tells me something very different. I can literally see where she is holding her stress in the body, and I can also see that the breath-work is not yet integrated.
…as a student learning these techniques, I don’t think that I was aware of how my body was held as I was learning them. I know that I wasn’t aware of my holding spots or what my diaphragm was doing. The learning curve is such a cool unfolding!
Anyway, it came up during our conversation something that I had read in a yoga sutra translatiion – that is, that you cannot teach another person how to breathe. I told her that when I read that, I thought to myself, “that isn’t true! you can teach people how to breathe. that’s what pranayama is…breathing exercises…’ Then she said to me, “You can’t teach people how to breathe. All we can do is teach breath awareness.”
And now I get it. Now that I have seen the beginning of this learning in another person’s body, now I get it. I cannot teach another person how to breathe, but I can teach another person how to become more aware of their breath. The tools and techniques that yoga offers is and always has been a personal practice, one that must be integrated into each individual’s livelihood as much as it is their body. Meaning that, even if the intellectual mind understands what the tool is and how it is used, the body-mind must take-up the technique in it’s own way.
Awesome!
***By Aeriform Arts Yoga Instructor Niki (you can find her at the studio or http://www.yogawithniki.blogspot.com/ )
The Weight Of Things…
This is a combo of an old post of mine and new thoughts but it still rings true for me and so many other women…
First of all please know I am not a small girl…I hang around a size 10-12 although I have brief moments of being a size 8…in my mind I want to be an 8 but my body really doesn’t want to go there – why oh why do I why fight it! I have T & A and they are not going anywhere – plus I LOVE THEM – and duh I’m Black I need them!
Bu
t as far as weight goes, let’s be honest it does affect certain moves in aerial and pole, but so many things do! Height (for example with Pole Dancing the CAR or CKR certain variations of it are easier if you are taller. If you do the foot hook it is MUCH harder if you have short legs, the thigh cross is easier – my teacher pointed that one out to me, thanks from all the short girls) chest size (girls with bigger chests when coming out of an inverted crucifix on the floor can literally get caught on the chest if they are pouncing down – trust me I know LOL). Hair length…try crawling and accidentally getting caught on your hair – OUCH, flexibility – well you get the point…I could go on forever. There are always modifications of moves that you can talk to your teacher about as well.
The point is we all have issues and while I will admit to thinking from time to time “hmmm if I lost 15 more pounds that move would be easier” and yeah quite honestly it would be, I also recognize things that my 10-12 size body can do that others can’t. I have Popeye arms which I hate, I did gymnastics for years and get very bulky muscles quickly. I would LOVE to have a long lean look but with my height and body structure it wouldn’t matter how much I lost, I have and will always be compact, but I have really strong arms and legs. I can climb with ease. I have big thighs – again not loving that but they do posses a Vulcan Death Grip and if they were smaller I would not be able to do a lot of what I can. Pick something about YOU that YOU love and focus on that…it might be the curve of your neck or as simple as a flip of your hair…or your smile…we all have at least ONE thing about us that we love…we ought to have more!
What I’m trying to say is that EVERYBODY TYPE has something beautiful and perfect about it. Smaller, Larger, Short, Tall we all have something magical and perfect about us. There was one girl from one of my classes who NEVER touched the pole and had a body to KILL for – she ALWAYS mesmerized us in class…one dance – seriously the whole class was SILENT when she danced…on the way out she seemed down and said “V why did nobody cheer when I danced like the rest – it’s because I do no pole tricks right?” I said “NOOOOOOOO IT’S BECAUSE WE ARE SPEECHLESS!!!! YOU ARE THE MOST FLUID DANCER I HAVE EVER SEEN…YOUR HIPS DO THINGS I DIDN’T THINK POSSIBLE – WE ARE ALL IN AWE”.
It was at THAT moment I realized…larger, small, tall or short we all seem to be WAY TOO HARD on ourselves and we all have our hang ups.
And there are things we can all do to improve our dance/pole/aerial work…pole/pull ups (GOD I hate those), AB work and of course my love & nemesis – working on our flexibility. Try to step away from the sport aspect for a day and just think of this as a fun dance or activity to be enjoyed or a day goofing around in the park. It’s been a while, but I am pretty sure when I was a kid on the jungle gym, it was just about having fun and not thinking “wow my butt is much bigger than Jenny’s butt” (it’s not by the way – my butt that is).
Most importantly, I think the number one thing that improved my dance or my feelings towards my dance was just not giving a rat’s as* anymore about if my stomach looked larger in that outfit or if my thighs look too big. I’m here for me and no one else. I am my only judge. Once we move past these inhibitions, our emotions and dance will have the ability to flow freely, to move purely regardless of the weight of things.
Chasing Your Dreams…While Keeping Your Sanity
Chasing our dreams while keeping our sanity, just how does one do this? I wish I had the definitive answer – but I don’t.
What I do know is that the older I get the more important it is for me to do, or at least try a good deal of the things that excite me or make me happy. The trick is finding and creating a balance between the life of Veruca budding aerialist and overall super chica & LW the tv exec with a hefty mortgage. Which path to take, can’t I take a little bit of both? Just how do we balance and respect all aspects of ourselves?
My day job is one of numbers, gains and losses, immense planning and looking at the reality of what is doable. This has a tendency to creep over into my non-work life. Not a bad thing by any means but it does make it hard to just “go for it” when it comes to certain decisions. There is something I have wanted to do for a really long time now and the opportunity has all of a sudden fallen into my lap, as if it was kismet but I find that I am stuck. It’s like my body is in quicksand and while I am not quite sinking, I am not quite moving forward and I am not quite sure why.
I ‘ve been thinking about this hard for the past two weeks and let me tell you it has been a long 2 weeks. I have neglected my health, caught a nasty bug and have been pretty much down for the count, ignored my blog, dog, husband and friends and pretty much been stuck in bed. Stuck in bed planning and spread sheeting and researching and talking about and running numbers for and visualizing and weighing out the pluses and minuses of the reality of making a tiny little bit of Veruca’s dream a reality. Everything but actually doing. And it is a hard decision to come to – go for it or not. It’s making me insane because I really don’t like to fail. I would rather bail than fail, I like certainties. Clearly I have control issues, I know this about myself. I like to be able to control a situation but sometimes all of the research and preparation and planning cannot stop something from failing or make something work. My sanity is suffering because I don’t know which way to go.
That being the case I guess the real question is how much risk am I willing to take and what really constitutes a failure? While I don’t want to shoot myself in the foot financially, hopefully I have done enough research and planning to somewhat alleviate any major financial issues that may come up and honestly in the end it’s only money. The bigger issue is if I “fail” will it stop me from attempting things in the future. Will I close up to new ideas and ventures and play it safe? I hope not. I have spoken with numerous friends, advisors and the like and they all say, “cool, awesome, great idea, great plan” but I am still at odds. The fear of failure is strong. I think the only way for me to move past it is to reevaluate my definition of that fear.
Going forward my new attitude will be that true failure is in not trying, not going for it, not attempting to enter or create that brave new world. I’m not saying we should all rush out, quit our jobs, move to Guam and make pottery. I do think however we should research, consider and find ways to embrace our dreams, find a way to incorporate them into our lives, find a way to be true to all of the individual facets that make up our selves; the wife, the daughter, the executive, the budding aerialist, the young gymnast, the girl who wanted to be an astronaut, the dreamer and even the realist.
Looking back at the past two weeks it hit me, I would rather attempt my dreams than wake up one day and realise all my dreams were over before they even started, so why not just try? So, much like Alice, I have decided to jump and take a tumble-down the rabbit hole, maybe not head first, most definitely with my day job intact, most likely with an escape route planned but I’m still going to try really hard to kick my fear of flight.